38 and Foggy

“I’m glad I wasn’t talking to myself like I usually do.”

Those were the words spoken to me by a seemingly nice, old woman who lives down the road. She was dragging her garbage and recycling bins to the curb for pickup as I was walking past. It was a dreary, foggy day so I can understand her being surprised by my presence.

As I continued down the road I thought about her comment, “I’m glad I wasn’t talking to myself like I usually do.” Would that be so bad? To be caught talking to yourself as you went about your daily routine? I didn’t think so.

I do some of my best thinking when I’m not trying to. My mind is open and free from distractions. I don’t talk to myself the way she was referring to, but I do have internal dialogue. I think about the things I’d like to do or say or experience. I think about things I’m thankful for and the things I wish were different. Solo walks are a great way for me to have internal dialogue while my thoughts wander.

I wish I would have crossed paths with her sooner. I would have liked to have heard her comment and had more time to reflect on the words. I know it doesn’t seem like much, and she certainly didn’t intend for her words to remain with me, but it’s something I hope to remember while I embark on future walks.

I plan to find more time to talk to myself.

 

Is chivalry dead, or do people simply suck?

Would you hold the door open for a stranger walking behind you?

Do you hold the elevator for a co-worker rushing down the hallway?

If a pedestrian is waiting at a crosswalk do you stop and let them cross?

 

These are simple choices we must make on a daily basis. Choices that, in my opinion, are easy to answer with a “yes”. But I’m not writing this because we’re all living our lives like the most devout members of the Abnegation faction.

An odd thing happened to me at work today while walking from the fitness center to the locker room. A thing that made me think “Is this really happening right now?”

You see, there’s a door between the fitness center and the locker rooms, a heavy fire door. I hate opening this door. It’s awkward, the knob is small and doesn’t turn well, and it doesn’t swing in the direction that feels natural for it’s placement. This morning, as I grasped that tiny knob and gave it a sharp twist, I noticed a man walking towards me from the other side of that shitty door, maybe 10′ away. I struggled, with bags in both hands, to pull the door wide enough to go around and squeeze through. When I had enough room to cross the threshold, the man that had been creeping closer and closer from the other side was suddenly right there. And how convenient for him, this sweaty, polite, and exhausted young woman already had the door open. He didn’t give me a second glance, nor did he care that I was already on my way through the door. He simply breezed right past me. My only thought was “Damn, did that just happen?”

Fine, fuck it. I need to shower and in order to shower I need to get to the other side of this door. As I was about to make my second attempt I realized the 5 guys walking behind him had other plans. So I stood there like a sweaty doorman wearing a down parka on a 105 degree day outside the Waldorf Astoria. They all walked through, they all looked at me, and not one of them said “Thank you!”, offered to stop and let me through, or held the door for me after they passed through. What a bunch of assholes.

I’m usually good at putting on my best fuck you face (see below) but this time it failed me. I was simply too stunned to even look as pissed off as I was.

I really was happy on my wedding day. I swear.

 

I finally did get through that shitty door and down to the fitness center. I was able to refresh and prepare for the rest of my day in a quite locker room, void of selfish assholes that only wanted to steal my joy.

So take a moment to consider all of the things you do on a daily basis and how the smallest tasks can, and will, affect others around you. Making someone else’s day just a tiny bit better doesn’t have to require a lot of effort on your part. It’s not difficult, be a fucking decent human being.

Working in the Boys Club – Part 1

Excessplain |ikˈses splān|

Verb [reporting verb]

Make (an answer, idea, situation, or problem) more confusing to someone by describing it in excessive detail or revealing more facts or ideas than necessary.  Excessplaining may occur after a “yes” or “no” question has been asked, or when basic assistance is needed by an individual looking to solve a problem.

I understood Jeff’s billing question until he started excessplaining it to me.” 

“I asked Dave if he wanted to get lunch from the cafeteria with me at noon.  His excessplaination never answered my original question.”